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10 Hard And Sad Truths About Love You Should Know

10 Hard And Sad Truths About Love You Know: People go around throwing ” I love you “as if these words are nothing. And when it comes to honoring their words with actions, a lot of them have absolutely nothing to show for…

Today I will share with you 10 hard and sad truths about love that can improve not just our relationships, but also our lives, and the whole world.

1.The cure to loneliness is not being loved, it is loving.

Nobody is on their way to save you from your own emptiness. The first step to having love in your life is to give it out, as much as you possibly can, as often as you possibly can. You have to invest in love before you can withdraw it.

2. There is no love without Self-love

Pay close attention to those people who tell you how much they love you, but who treat themselves as if there is nothing worthy about them. If a person has no love for themselves, they will have no love to offer to those around. How can anyone offer you something they themselves don’t have? It’s just not possible.

“I don’t trust people who don’t love themselves and tell me, ‘I love you.’ … There is an African saying which is: Be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt.” ~

Maya Angelou

3. The breakup sucks for your ex too, but for different reasons.

You guys shared everything together and he’s got to be hurting as bad as you, right? This will be the first harsh reality check: Something that is happening to both of you won’t be something you can bond on.

4. Codependency is not love

So many people confuse co-dependency with love when in fact these two have nothing to do with one another. Love is pure, perfect, and honest. While co-dependency is nothing but fear masked as love trying to cling onto other people by sucking the life out of them and by making them feel responsible for our own happiness, fulfillment, and well-being.

5. Love can’t fix the things that are broken inside of you, but it can show you those things.

 Love won’t heal your broken heart. It won’t solve your self-esteem issues. It won’t make you into a trusting person if you’re inherently suspicious. But it will highlight all the places in which you still have some growing to do. It will show you the worst in yourself, and give you the opportunity to start making healthier choices.

6. You can love someone even if you don’t love yourself.

 It will be difficult, and it will make for a problematic and arduous relationship, but the statement: ‘You can’t love someone until you love yourself’ is a lie. Work on building love, trust, and respect for yourself…and know this is a process for both you and your partner.

7. You’re always about as loved as you let yourself be.

People who believe themselves to be worthy of love are open to giving and receiving it. People who believe they aren’t worthy of love chase unavailable people, subconsciously sabotage their relationships and find excuses to end things before they ever properly begin. We are always exactly as loved as we feel comfortable being.

8.  Some people put up with a lot of BS in relationships and think they are proving their love and loyalty. 

But really, they are putting up with BS because they are addicted to the other person, afraid to be alone, or addicted to how they feel as the Saviour, “good one,” or hero/heroine. The shit-taker goes through high-highs, low-lows, confusion, starvation, self-loathing, vindication, relief, depression, and victory. If this is you, I have a message: love doesn’t feel like this.

9. Chasing people who don’t love you properly says more about you than it does about them.

 When we want confirmation that we’re unlovable, we chase unavailable people. When we’re only comfortable feeling worthless, we stay with people who don’t consider our needs. The love that we have in our lives is always a reflection of how we feel about ourselves.

10. The person you love the most is not necessarily the person you’re most compatible with, or the person you’re meant to spend your life with.

 Loving someone doesn’t mean you have all the same needs or long-term goals or core values. You can love someone so much it feels like it’s going to kill you and still not be compatible with them long-term. This is likely to be one of the saddest lessons you’ll ever learn.


And these are 10 hard truths about love we should all know. What about you? What is one hard and sad truth about love that you’ve learned and made your life better? You can share your comment in the comment section below 🙂


Catherine Njeri

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